Crabby's

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Richard Squarepants?!

















Richie and Bateman hopped in their boatmobile and bubbled their way to Crabby’s in Coal Valley, located somewhere between Bikini Bottom and the Rock River.














Crabby’s is owned by a distant relative of Mr. Krabs, proprietor of Krusty Krab. Crabby’s is also apparently terrorized by Sheldon Plankton, who burned down the original Crabby’s in 2006. That little green bastard.














Always consistent, Richie ordered a flaming krabby patty layered with jalapenos, an obscene amount of onions, bbq sauce, and cheese. He was somewhat baffled at the lack of crab in the menu. Crab legs were the only option.



























Richie’s chum, Bateman, who is not pink and does not live under a rock, ordered a Chicken Philly. He had never before eaten a Philly Cheese Steak. Maybe he does live under a rock.













Both were quite Squidward about the food, finding nothing special about it. The atmosphere was nice and cozy, like a big log cabin, hopefully Plankton doesn’t burn this one down. Though not highly recommended, if you’re a drinker or pool connoisseur, it might be worth a trip down to sponge up some alcohol and fair bar food.