Sloppy Joe's

Every time we walked by the restaurant in our resort, I got that damn SNL Sloppy Joe song stuck in my head.  The original Sloppy Joe's wasn't named after the epic sandwich.  It was named after the sloppy floors in the Key West location where Ernest Hemingway like to chillax and bitch about his wives. This earned him a primo spot on their logo.









The Treasure Island Sloppy Joe's is located within the Bilmar resort.  They have a nice large deck that reaches  out onto the beach.
 












 We sat on the deck for our meal and caught a nice breeze off the ocean...er gulf.  I was amused by the gulls that maneuvered their way around the ropes and scooped up bits of food.

Service was slowwww.  No one even noticed us until a braced faced dude of at least 30 stopped by and asked if we had been waited on yet.  He ended up being our server because apparently, no one else wanted to.

The menu did boast a hearty Sloppy Joe sandwich, which I spied a woman eating at the next table, but we did not partake.














Richie wanted some 'fresh' seafood, so he order the conch fritters and fries.  They did have quite a few healthier seafood entrees, but what else would you expect from Richard?


















 I am loco for pollo so I ordered the pollo taco salad.  I despise food from the sea, but they had several other offerings that appealed to me, including chicken wraps, sandwiches, pulled pork, and Angus burgers.  The salad was pretty huge and loaded with lettuce, tomatoes, and chicken.  Once I dug deep in the bottom, I reached the beans and rice, my favorite layer.  They had a slight spiciness to them, it wasn't too much for my wussy tongue.  The whole salad was encapsulated in a light, crispy tortilla shell.  I'm not a fan of hard shells, but this had a good greasy, salty taste to it.  I nibbled the edges.














Richie's conch fritters were essentially hush puppies mixed with a bit of conch.  Hush puppies are always pretty great, but if you order conch fritters, you would expect to taste a bit more of the conch.  The fries were up to par with most chain restaurants' offerings.



























For his meal, Richie ordered a Cuban with a side of beans and rice.  
 












Castro would frown upon this Cuban.  None of the meat appeared to be freshly sliced, and the bun was nothing special. 
 












Though we had a nice view and a cool breeze in our faces, I wouldn't necessarily revisit Sloppy Joe's.  It was more of a matter of convenience for us to eat there anyway.

Dixie's Little Dog House

Another stop in Treasure Island was a tiny little place called Dixie's Little Dog House.













They boast Chicago-style dogs and Italian Beef.  Obviously the place couldn't compare to the real thing, but we had to try it anyway.  The current incarnation of the Dog House has been in place since 2008.  Apparently, it has changed owners a few times over.

















We walked into the sauna of a store and were greeted by a counter, two tables, and a large ocean mural.


  I just wanted a snack, so I ordered a small Chicago-style dog with everything on it except peppers.  Richie went for the Italian beef sandwich.  We sat outside under an umbrella and waited for our food.

  It took awhile to come out even though we were the only customers.  I blame the beef.
Though I ordered a small, I wasn't expecting it to be the size of a toe.  The server did warn me when I ordered though.  At least it was loaded with flavorful toppings and bright green relish.  Pretty Chicago-ish.

  I wonder where you get buns that tiny?  I scarfed the lil chihuahua and tried to calm my growling stomach while Richie nibbled his Mastiff of a sandwich.

Richie's Italian beef was spicy and juicy, dripping down his chin and onto the table.

He wolfed it down, but said it wasn't quite what one could experience in Chicago.

 I thought it was a nice change of pace from the seafood restaurants and bars in the area.  I just wish I would have ordered a bigger dog.  One that could withstand more than 2 bites.

Biff Burger

While in Florida, we were able to meet up with a cousin and she recommended a place to us called Biff Burger.  Not 5 minutes later and Richie had the GPS coordinates plugged into his phone so we could navigate there.  Pulling into the lot at Biff was fairly intimidating.  Unbeknownst to us, it was Bike Night.  And the bikers were out in full force.  Luckily, they paid us no mind as we walked in the smoke clouded front doors of the tiny restaurant.

"Hey, McFly. I thought I told you never to come in here."








"Did anybody tell you that this is the private club of the Satan’s Helpers?"

The menu was up on a slotted sign behind the ordering window.  They have many special burgers like the Roquefort and Dog-on Burgers, specialty hot dogs, steak sandwiches, chicken, and soft serve ice cream.
 
The menu was a little hard to read, but really, Richie just wanted a famous Biff Burger anyway.

  Biff Burger actually has a long and doleful history.  Things started off well in the beginning when Bruce and Earl Brane opened the first restaurant in 1956 in Clearwater FL.  They invented a roto-red broiler that simultaneously rotated the beef and toasted the buns beneath, so the drippings from the burger would go into the bun.  That's why they serve the burgers in a plastic bag.   The restaurant soon expanded to the St. Petersburg location we visited and to hundreds of other locations across the South.  The franchises were sold as Port-a-units, with practically the whole restaurant being shipped to the new location.
Sadly, out of all those restaurants, only two remain. 

We ordered at the counter and waited near the pick-up side.  From our small booth, I could see and hear a band playing from the adjoining bar area .


The food came out quickly, and we dug right in.  Richie's Cheese Biff Deluxe burger ($1.70) was small, maybe 2 oz., and he probably could have laid waste to 4 of them if he had known this.

  The burgers are slathered with a special sauce that has been analyzed and scrutinized by fans for years.  Supposedly it contains 27 spices but here is a small batch recipe.  Tastes uncannily like Boozie's sauce. 

Fries were fresh out of the fryer.  Crispy and tongue singeing.The tater tots were delicious little potato nuggets with a nice crisp bronze shell.  The chocolate shake was pretty standard, prepared with vanilla soft serve infused with chocolate syrup. 

Though considered a fast food restaurant, the burgers certainly tasted far superior to similar offerings.  (Burger King, ahem)  Plus, they have a large menu with unique items forged from time-tested recipes.  Biff is a cool little joint to enjoy with the family.  Just maybe not on Bike Night.

Waffle House!

Well, we arrived in Florida in one piece, no thanks to our shuttle car driver and his 2fast2furious skills.  A quick search on our phone revealed that a Waffle House was just .3 miles from our lovely (cough) resort.  We stayed at the Bilmar Beach Resort in Treasure Island.  Sounds like a place full of magic and wonder, streets lined with gold.  Really, it's an anemic beach town with hotels designed after the 70's Las Vegas strip.  But, it has a Waffle House.


The Waffle House nearest my house is 200 miles south, in St. Charles, Mo.  The last time I ate at one was about 10 years ago in Phoenix, AZ.  It was a deliciously memorable experience I was more than happy to relive in FL.













The chain began in 1955 in a suburb of Atlanta.  A Toddle House manager and his neighbor decided to open a 24-hour restaurant with an emphasis on friendly customer service.  They grew to 4 restaurants and in the 60s, saw a lot of growth along highways and interstates.  Obviously they are known for their waffles (they serve 145 per minute) and breakfast foods, but their menu includes many lunch staples as well.
 
The menu can be viewed HERE

Pretty much every Waffle House looks the same.  They have the counter with an open kitchen so you can watch the workers sweat into the waffle irons.  You can also hear them yell out their diner lingo and bitch at each other.  We actually visited twice during our stay due to the lack of clean and inviting dining options in the area.  And due to our gluttonous desire for waffles.

The first trip, I ordered the ridiculously large All-Star Special.  It featured a waffle, hashbrowns, eggs, toast, and ham.  I opted for a strawberry waffle which the waitress dutifully admitted was infused with artificial strawberry flavoring.  No matter.  It had an essence of Frankenberry that took me back to my childhood.

Hashbrowns were greasy, eggs were greasy, ham was greasy.  Not complaining, just stating the facts.  I did, however, blot my eggs a little bit before I dug in and punctured the yolk.

On our second visit, I was feeling slighty more health conscious, so I ordered scrambled egg whites and chicken breast. Again, I blotted the chicken which was dewy with griddle oils.

 Richie ordered over-easy eggs, toast, a plain waffle, and hashbrowns "all-the-way."  they have many different disgustingly rich options for decorating your hash, and all-the-way includes, well, all of them.  Don't be deceived by the photo, under the  exorbitant amount of breakfast gravy and the crunchy top stratus mingled many mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, ham, and cheeses.


Both of our waffles were cooked impeccably, with nary a burnt crust or undercooked bite.







Round two:  Chili cheese omelet and hashbrowns all-the-way. He obviously likes the hashbrowns.  

I might not be so enthused on Waffle House's greasy selections if I had easier access to one, but I thoroughly enjoyed my meals.  It's a fun change of pace from the Midwest's Village Inns and IHOPs.  Plus, the waffles, though made in what looked to be a standard waffle maker, were pretty much perfect.


Oh Waffle House, I hope to rendezvous again.  Until then, we shall lust for you from afar.

Earl of Sandwich

Recently, I traveled to Disney World to run the Wine & Dine Half marathon, because any thing that combines my two favorite activities- eating and running- I am there. After a day of generic park food and a seemingly never-ending bus ride full of grouchy children, we disembarked in Downtown Disney with rumbling tummies.

At this point, anything would be satiating, so we decided to stop at the first fast food place. Luckily, we ended up in front of The Earl of Sandwich. The line was nearly out the door, but Disney is nothing if not a great place to practice patience, so we waited...













We had plenty of time to peruse the menu, which was fairly large and tantalizing.













The hot sandwich menu is their pride and joy, because the sandwiches are assembled and then placed in a warm oven, so the flavors can mix and mingle in all kinds of naughty ways.













As we plodded through the line, we paraded by the large offering of exclusive side salads, chips, and desserts. I grabbed a bag of sea salt and vinegar chips for the long journey to sandwichdom.





































































The restaurant was seriously PACKED, so we awkwardly stood aside and attempted to avoid the chaos at the counter. It was too much, so when our number was up, we grabbed the sandwiches and galloped to a table outside.



























I unwrapped my Hawaiian Barbecue Chicken and immediately shoved the warm 'wich into my mouth. Everything about this sandwich was sweet, including the bbq sauce, sweet ham, and pineapple. The bread was pretty incredible- soft, sweetened, and warm.



























My mum went for the Full Montagu which exposed it's innards of roast beef, turkey, lettuce, tomato, two cheeses, and mustard sauce.













I quickly disgusted my mom by dissecting and inhaling my dinner in 3 minutes and we skipped off with blissful bellies into the bewitching World of Disney.

After riding Tower of Terror five times, running 13.1 miles,
eating the best spanikopita ever, and throwing up in the Detroit airport, we finally arrived home to Iowa. I decided to investigate this Earl of Sandwich and found out that it is, in fact, owned partially by the 11th Earl of Sandwich, Lord John Montagu. There are a dozen or so locations around the U.S. and you can link to a weird TLDR story of their origins here.



















I guess if everyone in the world eats your namesake, you might as well 'make it rain' in your wallet. I would venture that The Earl of Sandwich would make it's inventor proud, by offering fresh fast sandwiches to the hungry masses.