Five Guys Burgers and Fries

Five Guys Burgers and Fries is well-known chain throughout a good portion of the country. The couple who began the restaurant in 1986 had 4 sons and soon added a fifth, hence the name, Five Guys. It began in Virginia and soon expanded to locations around the D.C. area, garnering a cult following. Franchising soon followed, and Five Guys can now be found in 40 states. Of course Iowans are about 5 yrs behind, so we don't have one...yet. It is, however, getting closer.


Being foodies...well more like, 'fast foodies,' both of us had heard of Five Guys a while ago and even ate a similar restaurant called Meatheads in Schaumburg. During a trip to Peoria we discovered an empty store space with signs in the windows proclaiming the impending opening of Five Guys. A couple months later, Richie was able to make the trek to Peoria to try it out, but I could not. :(


There are few unique attributes of Five Guys. The menu is deceptively simple, serving just burgers, fries, hot dogs, and Cokes. However, they claim that their burgers can be served in 250,000 different ways.
Their beef is never frozen- in fact, stores do not have freezers. They do have coolers to keep the meat fresh. Lastly, they use peanut oil, so everything is trans-fat free. I'm sure that was on Richie's mind when he ordered.



The interior of the restaurant is very clean and open. Customers order at a counter and can watch the cooks perform in their open kitchen. When your number is called, bounce up with anticipation and try not to drool on yourself as you pick up your food.



Hungry diners can choose their own unique combination of toppings and sauces.




Fries are fresh cut and can be salted or seasoned cajun-style.

Richie's double burger was overflowing with cheese, bacon, mushrooms, mayo, and bbq sauce. The burger was well done but still juicy and flavorful.


Fries are served in ample amounts and Richie raved about the Cajun seasonings.



Check out these thick potato fingers.


Five Guys does it right, by focusing on making quality food, rather than a variety of food. Of course when you do this, you can't please everyone...no salads or chicken on the menu, so leave your skinny bitches at home.

Blue Cat Brew Pub

In the mood for a hearty meal, we decided to cross the bridge and roll into the District of Rock Island. Not being an obnoxious alcoholic who rents a party bus for every birthday, I had only been to the District once before, to see Everclear play. No one can fault me for that.

Although we weren't entirely sure of our final destination, I did have the Blue Cat in mind as a possible Greasy Joint. I parked in the first lot I found, and lo and behold, it was right across the street from Blue Cat. The air smelled of seafood, not appealing to me, but still 10x better than it would smell 4 hours later when vomit and smoke would float down the streets.

The restaurant and brewery opened in 1994, just 2 years after the District was conceived. They filled a vacant space in an older two story building on 18th street. There are two levels to the building, we were escorted upstairs to a small dining area with cozy booths. The atmosphere was dark, but not dingy. Candles adorned each table, providing a light glow around the room.



Our waiter served us right away and handed us menus that were surprisingly large and diverse. This isn't typical bar food. It's "fancified." The menu has salads, seafood, barbeque, dinners, sandwiches, burgers, and pasta. It also includes many of their handcrafted ales, some of which rotate throughout the year, or are seasonal only. I'm not going to pretend to know anything about beer, so here's a link to more info.

After much consideration and internal debate, I ordered a Hawaiian-style chicken breast sandwich with a side of beans and rice. Richie went for some 'que, and ordered the beef brisket with mashed potatoes. I couldn't resist adding an order of pub fries fused together with gooey cheese.

Our fries came out quickly, hot and smelling of decadent bacon, which was precariously chopped and sprinkled on top. So we overindulged on our appetizer, leaving little room for our entrees. No bother. Richie made room and I got a box to go.

Both our orders were slathered in barbecue, but mine was a teriyaki flavor, very light and sweet. It was a perfect complement to the grilled pineapple.

His brisket was engulfed in a viscous black sauce with a molasses flavor. The meat was slightly chewy, not quite as melt-in-your-mouth as one would receive from an actual barbeque joint.


The beans and rice had nice kick to them, both of us enjoyed the flavor. Richie's potatoes were a nice texture, but tasted overwhelmingly of butter. Though his plate was left without a crumb, Richie did proclaim that he should have ordered a burger. I was pleased with my picks, particularly the pub fries.

I think we will make a return trip in the future and try something new. Definitely an ideal option for alcohol afficianados looking for a classy place to dine and drink.

Short's Burger and Shine

Short's Burger and Shine opened in 2008, however, it's history began in 1920. That's when H.D. Short opened his shoe shine in that location. As the menu explains, for over 50 years, Short ran a successful shoe shine business. The current owners of the bar and grill got permission from the family to name the business in his honor.






















Though dark and narrow like most other Iowa City bars, Shorty's has a classy feel to it. The booths and bar are dark wood and the bare brick gives it a charming antique-y feel. We came in around 1 p.m. and were able to score a roomy booth.


































Short's is all about serving local foods. The beef is bred in Columbus Junction and prepared in Riverside. (For vegetarians- The cows live blissfully ignorant lives in Columbus Junction until they're murdered in Riverside). They don't mention the chickens' origins or where the black beans are cruelly harvested for their veggie burgers. Whole potatoes are slaughtered daily for fries.
















The service was fast and friendly. Each item on the menu was named after a county (chicken), city (burgers), or junction (black bean burger) in Iowa. The burger creations were truly spectacular and we spent a good deal of time just reading through the menu like it was a smutty romance novel.





















Eventually, we did have to wipe our chins of drool and choose just one. Richie, of course chose a big ass burger, the Dundee, and I chose a chicken sandwich, the Dickinson, hold the mayo.





















The Dundee is probably the most indulgent burger on the menu. All burgers are cooked medium well, and this one was saddled with sauteed mushrooms, thick cut bacon, garlic aioli, fried egg, and golden American cheese.



































The Dickinson is a spiced blackened chicken breast with rich provolone cheese and crispy slabs of bacon. It's normally served with a slather of chipotle mayo.

















The fries were abundant piles of pretty dark golden sticks. They were well seasoned and slightly soggy from grease. Though I'm not fond of fried foods, I found myself slathering these in ketchup and shoving fistfuls in my mouth.

Richie used the famous Short's Sauce on his fries. The sauce is a vinegar base mixed with pepper and tomato paste. Definitely kicks those fries up a notch.

















Both of us left quite content and full to the brim. Even the buns were tasty, very soft and filling. It feels good supporting a local business that, in turn, supports local farmers and grocers. Even better when the food is best we've had all year.

Country Fix'ns

Welcome to the Appalachia of the Q.C., Colona, Illinois. There is a bright spot among the trailers, barefoot children, and fishin' boats, and it's called Country Fix'ns.


Country Fix'ns is a home-style diner that fills daily with regulars. It was a small spectacle when two 20-something city boys walked through the front doors.

The interior is quite plain and unadorned, decorated only by the smell of coffee and bacon, a warm welcome for hungry men.

Being a model greasy joint, Country Fix'ns serves breakfast all day, so Richie ordered the Country Fix'ns Skillet. He may have found a match for Ross' famous Magic Mountain.

He dug right into the giant hashbrown haystack permeated with mushrooms, bacon, eggs and onions. Of course, it was generously shrouded with both breakfast gravy and melted cheese. Ridiculous. As if that wasn't gut-busting enough, Richie poured on the Sriracha!


Bateman had eyes for another greasy classic, a cheeseburger and fries. The sirloin burger was served on buttered and grilled Texas Toast.




Fries were thick cut and made from real potatoes.


The food appeared to be thoroughly greasy and made from scratch. They didn't skimp on portion sizes, so the meals were well worth the small amount of cash they charged.

If you're willing to travel through the trailer trash boonies, Country Fix'ns is a neat little place to try. Bring an empty stomach... and maybe some art for the walls.

Portillo's

Portillo's is a chain of fast food restaurants in the Chicago area. It's birth in 1963 occurred in an $1100 trailer known as "The Dog House," a small hot dog stand in Villa Park. Over the many years, it has expanded into a a small chain of Chicago-style fast food restaurants. More history can be found in a video here. There are 31 locations in Illinois, clustered mostly in the Chicagoland area. We made a pit stop at the Schaumburg location during the lively Saturday lunch hour.

Each Portillo's has a different motif, Schaumburg's is the 1950s. The large retro mess hall also includes an ordering station for one of the owner's other concept restaurants, Barnelli's Pasta Bowl.

The place was humming with patrons, so I questioned their ability to promptly feed us. As soon as we stepped into line, a worker penciled our order on a a to-go bag. It was a lot of pressure to order so quickly, and I panicked a bit. If I had more time to pore over the menu, I would have noticed the enchanting Chocolate Cake Shake, but that's something to look forward to for next time.

At the counter, we gave our bag to the cashier and paid.
Then we hustled down the long assembly line of surprisingly cheerful workers to the food pick-up area.

Despite the massive wall of people waiting, we had our hot chow in about 5 minutes. Seating was not hard to find, as most of the restaurant is crammed full of booths and tables. No foot of floor was spared a table or chair.

Richie ordered the combo sandwich. A combo sandwich is comprised of a spicy Italian sausage gently swaddled in a juicy blanket of Italian beef. Customers can choose hot or sweet peppers; Richie chose HOT. I noted that he actually savored it, opting not to hoover it down as usual.

I ordered a charbroiled chicken breast on a croissant, with a side of cheese fries. Though my sandwich looks a bit bland, blame the lighting, it was actually the best I've had at any fast food or sit down restaurant. The chicken is very nicely seasoned and has a bit of kick to it, almost to the point of inducing nose running. The lettuce was crispy and the tomatoes were bright red and juicy. Portillo's is certainly no McDonald's.

The cheese fries were crinkle cut, to which I am partial. They provide crispy edges with a good filling of potato. The cheddar was served in a small container so I had full control over the amount of golden goodness I wanted to ooze off of each fry.

Richie also felt his sandwich was spiced well and very flavorful. The bread was a good chewy consistency and a nice bedrock for the moist beef and sausage.

The atmosphere was energetic and loud, but it was fun to people and food watch.
Next time I am within range of a suburb lucky enough to host a Portillo's, I will be visiting and finally sucking down that Chocolate Cake Shake I've been dreaming of.

The Brothers Family Restaurant

I couldn't find any history online about Brothers Family Restaurant (1718 2nd Ave Rapids City, IL), but I know it has been around for quite some time.

We stopped at Brothers after a short excursion to Cordova IL. It's located just off the first I-80 exit in Illinois.



It's a charming diner that is retro, not in a kitschy way, but more like they haven't fussed over decor since the 70s. Walking in, I got an immediate whiff of fried chicken, lo and behold, it was the daily special.

Richie was happy to try out the all-you-can devour fried chicken, but why anyone would order anything other than breakfast is beyond me. and Ron Swanson. I mulled over the omelet selection and ultimately selected a Denver Omelet.

Our waitress was very sweet and asked about Richie's shark tattoo because apparently her husband has one too. And she has a dolphin.

Our food was ready in good time, probably because they had a massive bundle of fried chicken already prepared. It was all-you-can-eat, so our neighbors at the next table were unbuttoning and taking full advantage. Richie stopped after a leg, breast, and thigh.

Apparently that was pleasing enough. Though the chicken was moist and the skin was crunchy, he felt it lacked enough spice and flavor. I think he's been tainted by Colonel Sanders and his 11 herbs and spices.

On the other hand, the broccoli cheese soup was quite flavorful for a food that looks suspiciously like snot. Mashed potatoes were served school lunch style, one ice cream scoop drowning with gravy.

I had no problem devouring my giant yellow pocket, chock full of goodies- green peppers, ham, and onions. The hash browns had a nice golden canopy of crunch.

Though Richie wasn't terribly pleased with the chicken, everything else, including the service, was very good. Prices were reasonable as well. Overall, it's a nice cozy place to stop on an I-80 expedition.